September then

OK so back to the last week of August:

I attended a 'Best Interests' meeting about mum, where I came up against the culture of 100% safety prioritized over Quality of Life, basically. Of course I want my mum to be safe and live till she's 100. That would/will be great. But not if it means she can't actually live her life, a life as herself, doing at least some of her things.

Mainly they were erring on the side of caution, based on a combination of the diagnosis and their observations of what mum was doing/being like in hospital. I had a gut instinct that she might not do/be the same at home - but whether right or wrong, why not try home? That was my point of view.

Anyway eventually they allowed themselves to be persuaded that home with 3 carer visits a day could be 'attempted' (as if North Face of Eiger). And it has been and is going brilliantly. Mum has been out of hospital for a month, after a month of being in, and I can see great improvements in all areas. Meanwhile almost all of the 'Best Interests' concerns have come to nought. She does not wander at night, go to the loo in appropriate ways or unlikely places, go out for no reason, forget to make herself food or drink, or any of the things that she seemed likely to do from observation of hospital behaviour.

Because she is not in hospital. D'oh!

Her recent achievements are: going down to the shops and back on her own - a 20-minute walk each way that, this time round, I really did wonder if she would manage again; remembering to write things on the calendar (sometimes!); remembering how to find phone numbers and ring people. All of which bring her greater independence and health in many ways.

Recently F and I visited her for the weekend and we all went to Leeds Castle, which was lovely. Mum is very definitely invigorated and rejuvenated by going out, seeing beautiful places and art, as well as social outings, so it's really important to try and make sure that that kind of thing happens now and then. Although she has a number of good friends locally, many of them are not mobile or well enough now to do this kind of thing, unfortunately.

Meanwhile, F has been in a very mathsy mode on and off, continues to be interested in history and science, with dabblings in a bit of philosophy and English informally e.g. looking at writing and talking about the meanings of it, and recently considered learning a language. The main business of her life though is social stuff and independence - she is now often out on her scooter riding along our street, sometimes with the other kids out there, sometimes when they're at school. Drama and Forest School (both home-ed only groups) have both started up again and she is enjoying them both very much, as well as other social groups we go to some weeks.  Her friendship with E is a core part of her life, they are together at most of the things we go to and spend time at each other's houses playing ponies, Polly Pockets, trampolining and giggling.
She has got the hang of lower-case writing now, having asked me to show her, which took all of an hour or two. I remember whole hour sessions at school spent writing endless single letters over and over again. One of the most boring things we ever did.