And so, in conclusion, then, now we can see...

...that it's time to sum up the year and make any useful deductions therefrom as applicable.
This year:
negative things (let's get them over) - Money worries, never retreating far, it seemed, horrible - I can't be the parent I like to be when I have money worries. Health - not very good, everything I got lasted forever and didn't respond well to meds (including bloody hayfever which robbed me of 2 months of summer) - think this may have been exacerbated by the money worries, stress of them. Various other mental detritus... blah de blah, not to be dwelt on here... but on its way to some kind of closure (thanks for chat Mrs MonsterTeeny).
positive things (hoorah) - More work coming in, increasing level of professionalism/reliability therefore generating more work, therefore I am just starting to see the abovementioned money worries, as we go into 2006, the next few months should see quite an improvement, and I hope that will continue. Home Ed - at the start of 2005 this was not yet a firm decision, and the year has just consolidated it many times over as the right and best thing for us - every time I have seen F choose what she does with her time, every time I have seen her have an idea and project manage me to help her see it through from start to finish, every time I have seen her repeat things and practise things as and when she wants with neither interruption nor pressure to achieve someone else's standardised goals and, of course, every time I've been to the 'Education' section of the BBC news site, or heard about friends' children having a hard time. All of those things, but most particularly the positive ones, have reinforced this decision. I do still intend to take F round some schools when she is 7, and to talk in detail with her about it, and to let her try school if she wants to. But I hope/think that we're on the Home Ed route now for far longer than that. I also feel committed to autonomous learning, it really works for us, and I remember being enthralled by the idea when studying language-learning techniques as part of my degree (er, 14 or so years ago, and I was a 'mature' student then... there was a study of some language students who had access to a wealth of fantastic resources and taught themselves, finding the different methods/times/paces that suited them) Home life - F learning to use potty/toilet, particularly important in that, until she actually did it, I couldn't be sure that she would be able to, due to concerns about her medical history. Friends - new friendships that are now established and invaluable - *waves* at Mrs MonsterTeeny - others that are just starting, others that are older and that need some more input from me, but I'm glad I've realized their value in time to do that, so I'm counting them in positives.
Hopes/Intentions for 2006: To better cherish and nurture many of my relationships - I'm good at my online ones (aren't I? *suddenly worries* I like to think I am... uh-oh...) and at my local 'real-life' ones. I have a lovely group of online friends, maintained on an almost daily basis via a forum and YIM, and a few local friends with children who I seem to manage to keep up with pretty well. And I have some lovely and very precious non-local and not-online friends, who I am neglecting a lot of the time, because it takes time I don't manage to find - phone calls/letters are harder to fit in. My online friends can chat to me on my laptop while I'm working, it's just so easy. So there's a New Year's Resolution I guess.
To get my 2-week rolling schedule back up and running. It worked really well for a while, worth getting back to it.
To finally get past money worries, obviously.
To get F 'dry at night'! Otherwise, with F, just to continue as we are, as it's all working pretty well, she and I are getting better with each other all the time, I love her more and more, she gets both easier and more interesting with every passing month. I can easily remember how horrible it was this time last year to go shopping with her, she would run out of the door of a shop without me knowing, she would pick things up and take them with her, etc. This and many other stresses associated with the peculiarities of the littlies, I am ecstatic to do without, and am glad they are gradually disappearing one by one. I loved my baby F, my 2-yr old F and my 3-yr old F, but my goodness, best of all is this 4-yr old F, she's a joy! Am really looking forward to 5-yr old F too...
To be healthier and fitter (yeah, yeah).
To write my novel (yeah, yeah, again) - will be carrying on going to the weekly writing group I started attending back at end of summer, aimed specifically at teaching us how to write a novel! Whereas up to now we have been doing exercises and small bits of writing, exploring plotting, character, pace, literary technique, etc., now we will be moving on to do more writing and sharing and criticising! It's a nice group, should be fun, and it's my glorious definite me-time for a minimum of 2 hours every week.
To gain in quality of life, which kind of includes all the above I guess, plus more times and variety of ways (!) for J and I to relax together would be good.
That's it, I think.

Happy New Year to anyone reading, may it bring you happiness and fun, may the shitty bits be minimal and the fab bits be fantastic. Enjoy!

Picture of F's world

This is a picture of F's world including her people (herself, me, her dad, grandmas, all in there). She asked me to cut out the people, so I suggested sticking them onto card and writing their names on the back too.

Xmas princess

Trying to post a picture!
An unusually girly and princessy F.

Happy Christmas Everyone!

I love glitter.
I love crackers.
I love lights.
I love board games.
I am at heart a simpler soul than I often care to pretend, and I'm glad of it.
And I love Christmas!
My hopes for my Christmas are for it to be relaxing, cuddly, cosy and fun.
I'm looking forward to seeing F open her ridiculous number of presents, and to watching cosy Xmas telly at some point with the fire blazing and the tree lights doing their thang.
I'm looking forward to the huge Bloody Marys that J makes for us both on Christmas morning and the snacky food and pickles and roast potatoes and parsnips.
I'm looking forward to just being here and being happy and being healthy.
I hope Christmas, or any other holiday that you may be celebrating, brings you warmth and happiness and many other things that you wish for yourselves.
Happy Christmas Everyone!

Quickish bloggish

J is really ill with a bad chest infection. He was sent home from work on Monday and has spent most of the time since then sleeping or lying down. I felt terrible on Tuesday/Wednesday, but don't seem to have got the same as him. He has missed his work Xmas curry, which is a real shame. He feels fed up, having had plans for all sorts of Xmas preparations that now have to wait. Fortunately though he had already done quite a bit of online shopping and organization, so all is not lost. Today he managed to eat a bit, so hopefully is on the mend.
Amazon and other parcels have been arriving every day, haven't done my wrapping yet, but getting there!
Today F and I made cards, an amicable glitterfest. I had already braced myself not to go 'control freak' on her and actually managed it. The result was that she did about 3 cards and I did about 20, in a faux-naif pseudo-F style. At least we both had fun and no shouting though. I let her use up the entire gold glitter on her 3 cards pretty much, after half-heartedly attempting to stop her and then deciding that was futile and silly. The glitter was for her to use, so let her use it.
The big news here for me is that F wrote the word 'Christmas' yesterday (copying letters into spaces in a puzzle in a comic), and today she asked me to write the word 'Mummy' and copied that. Both words were pretty much legible, and I was so excited about it, and got a bit teary.
What else?
Had a nice afternoon up at my friend Katya's, where F played pretty well with her two, Ria and Belle, despite a couple of times when she found them a bit too shouty and shouted back at them that she wanted some peace and quiet! She's not very used to that level of shoutiness. I remember as a child being a bit freaked out by other children shouting a lot for no apparent reason. Not that she doesn't have her moments. It was still a great visit though, K and I laughed and laughed and nattered away, and most of the time F played happily with R and B all over their big house. On the way back F seemed mainly to humour me by pretending to be as enthralled as I was by the Xmas lights and decorations we saw outside people's houses (minimal at the posh end of the hill, gradually increasing in colour, quantity, flashingness and saturation as we descended down, peaking in our street at the very bottom, where about 30% of the houses have lights on display, with plenty of variation in flashing sequences and colours).

Seeing the trees

I know they say that some people 'can't see the wood for the trees', but here I have had trouble seeing the trees! It took my mum, visiting last Tuesday, to remind me how beautiful the copper beeches just round the corner are, on a reasonably bright day, they are absolutely stunning. And what was stopping me seeing them? Most of this year, for me, has been dominated by money worries and ill health, sometimes one, sometimes the other, and sometimes, like the last 2 weeks in November, both at once. Bastards. Anyway, I'm seeing the trees again, and that's a good feeling. And I think I'm going to be seeing them a whole lot more, the future looks brighter all the time. I'm getting a good amount of work, I'm doing it, I'm being seen as reliable and professional, so getting more work, etc. Eventually we will get there.

Things that F has done:
On finding that jumping beans contained little ball bearings, which she recognized from a little ball-bearing puzzle thingy (you know, where you tilt and jiggle it to get ball-bearings into the right holes), F was inspired to make such a puzzle herself. So she project-managed me, told me what materials to use, suggested possible sources (as in 'cut up that box, mummy, and use that bit for the lid'), weighed up and discussed alternatives, etc. And we have a plastic box with a lid stuck on, 3 ball bearings and some little card shapes. It doesn't really 'work', but it's still one of those projects that completely represents for me what autonomy is all about - she had to make a series of decisions, have her own ideas, etc. And she did, with complete confidence and absorption. That is what will lead her onwards in anything she wants to achieve.
Similarly today she decided to make a fish tank with a glittery fish in it, I helped her with materials provision and a couple of suggestions, but it's essentially her idea.
I love her projects - many of them are less material than these, but nevertheless have some of the same elements - consideration of a problem or idea, dealing with issues that arise when implementing it, sequencing activities, etc. Basically, thinking logically, applying theories, all that and more. Fab!
And if she was at school she might well be churning out the same craft items and 'makes' as 29 other children, guided step-by-step by the teacher.
F and I have also had conversations/looked at stars, moon, seasons, time, space. And another Cinderella Barbie has moved in with us, and they both keep losing their bloody shoes, which are apparently 'slippers', though why anyone would wear slippers made of glass I have no idea.

What else have I got to say?
Monster and Teeny came today - another nice visit, although we were all 5 of us poorly. The children peaked earlyish, using up what energy and patience they had, then the illness factor had them all tiring of each other a bit, leading variously to F doing a consumptive Victorian heroine impression on the sofa with her duvet - 'I am ill and I need to rest', D looking a bit tired but basically maintaining his good humour better than the other two, and S really having had enough and needing a big cuddle for a while before they left. Earlier, though, while still in good spirits, they had played really well in various combinations and altogether, with tent, spacehopper and other popular items. N and I had a good old natter, I think I moaned to her about at least a couple of things I wanted to rant about, kindly didn't inflict lentils on her this time with her pasta pesto, but did force her to eat a vegan truffle (rough-hewn from chickpeas by vegan martyrs with their ethically-acceptable fingernails) though I didn't actually check that she had swallowed it, so she may have hidden it in her sleeve or something. F wasn't in her most sociable mood, but still played fine for the first couple of hours or so. I couldn't remember where I had put the sweeties for the children after their sandwiches, so I had to give them what remained of my 'grown-up' chocolate stash!

We have our tree up but need some proper pins to get our lights how we want them.
We have purchased a lot of items of a Xmassy persuasion and are planning to purchase more when more money appears in the next week. Am really looking forward to time spent together, not working, relaxing and all that stuff. Family films, fire blazing, crackers, etc. Lovely!

And now, earlier than expected, my lists of 7 things as requested by N of MonsterTeeny:

7 things to do before I die
1. make sure everyone I love knows I love them
2. travel across Canada again (this time with J and F)
3. travel around Europe again (this time with J and F)
4. see New Zealand
5. write a novel
6. go in a helicopter again, preferably with glass floor and over somewhere beautiful
7. get fit one more time

7 things I cannot do
1. anything gymnastical of any kind
2. walk on ice without falling over
3. heights (of the ladder/cliff edge type, not helicopters!)
4. save money
5. drive
6. give up Pepsi (I know, it's disgusting)
7. find my daughter's socks

7 things that attract me to my spouse (I am joyfully unespoused, so you'll have to make do with the father of my child!)
1. his sheer integrity and honesty
2. his fairness
3. his creativity
4. his generosity
5. his kindness
6. his body
7, ask me in person and I'll mime it for you behind the children's backs!

7 things I say most often
1. lordy lah Miss F
2. Oh for fuck's sake
3. oh shitting shite
4. lovely
5. Do you need a pee
6. remind me later
7. when we've got some money

7 films I could watch over and over again
1. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
2. The Wall
3. Dark Star
4. Shawshank Redemption
5. Les Amants du Pont-Neuf
6. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
7. Koyaanisqatsi

7 Songs that make me travel back through time
1. Anything from Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
2. American Pie by Don McLean
3. Silence Kid by Pavement
4. The Gunner's Dream by Pink Floyd
5. I saw an X-ray of a girl passing gas by Butthole Surfers
6. Which side are you on? (Greenham song)
7. Hey by The Pixies

Another 2 weeks flipped by...

OK, in the 2 weeks since I last blogged, this is what F and/or I and/or J have done:
built various tents: with clothes rail, small table, small chair, sheet and blanket. This involved conversations about space/geometry, safety/flammability (proximity of fire to wayward textile parts of tent) and F designed the interiors each time, bringing various items to place them exactly where she wanted them, designating areas as sleeping or eating areas etc.
looked up at F's request, what makes holes in the large sea-smoothed pieces of chalk you find on the beach: the piddock, a little molluscy thing with a special boring body part (LOL, I know, most of us have a few boring body parts, my arse is tedious, for a start). Thanks to Google: Images, we were able to find pictures of similar pieces of chalk and of the piddock itself
Study Dogged and Leap Padded steadily in the direction of pre-reading, as you do: Leap Pad is currently flavour du jour here, the green GO circle sound rings out merrily at every opportunity. She's playing with letters and sounds and enjoying it, so that's great. She has also been 'reading' to me and to Dozy Mog quite a bit, which is just deliciously cute and I make no apology for my rapt adoration on these occasions. I find I can be extremely patient in this area, which is nice for me! I have also printed out a few fairy tale 'print and colour' booklets from CBeebies website for her too, reading them a few times, colouring, re-reading...
Goggleboxed: Cinderella ad nauseum, Nick Jr (loving the Backyardigans), CBeebies, but also a bit of Class TV now and then - we watched a Magic Grandad introducing his grandchildren to Samuel Pepys, and saw the Apple tree through the year, both of which we very much enjoyed and talked about a bit afterwards, will definitely try to catch Watch again, it's good.
Socialized: Not as much as recently, due to illness including my bladder-challenging cough *waves in sisterly pelvically inadequate fashion at Joanna*, which is now finally disappearing, slowly. But we have managed to catch up with MonsterTeeny - thoroughly excellent visit from them yesterday, and not an eye full of chilli seeds. Ms MonsterTeeny generously humoured me by allowing me to play 'Teach' with her lovely son, so I got out my microscope pics from internet and he was very good at working out which microscope pic went with which ordinary pic (all pics lovingly laminated and now in a folder for future reference, and activity highly recommended for 5/6 yrs and up). F was distinctly not bothered (activity highly unadvised for 4 yrs and down). Think the bit they most enjoyed was all playing train going round a route round the house, with Monster as the engine on the spacehopper, and F and Teeny as his Annie and Clarabel, with track blockages and various other encounters. All seemed to have quite a laugh with that. F and Teeny also played throwing the (vegan fake) feather duster down the stairs and Mrs MT and I decided to let them as they were having FUN! V. important.
Also socialized with each of the Grandmas at various points, which was nice for all concerned (well, hopefully nice for the grandmas).
Made an Ultimate Paper Plane: J found a good set of instructions on the net and the plane thus produced was definitely a superior beast of the sky. Some good conversations had there too, in a general slightly sciencey manner.
And finally, activity borrowed from 'Happily Home Edding' at no.42 Early Years HE blogring and very enjoyable:
Made an Ice Lantern: Beautiful, enjoyable, involved conversations in sciencey area and hands-on activity, aesthetics, light, temperatures, etc. How we did it - put a small plastic bowl inside a larger one, weighted it to keep it from floating and filled the ring-shaped gap between them with water. Added pretty things into the water (in our case, this time, beads, but Happily Home Edding used nature items, and am already thinking of lots of other ideas. Stuck it into freezer for most of the day or overnight would do. Then you have a ring of ice with beautiful things in and you can put it on a tray with a night light in the middle and it looks like some exquisite piece of glass art. And if you don't have any storage for craft items, get this: it melts!!!! Which means it's not ideal for any littlies who would be wanting to keep it forever, but you can take pics. Definitely will be doing this again. I boiled the water for about 10 mins to get it really clear, which may have helped.
On a less HE note: I've been ill and have been working very hard and have had no money, so it's not been a great month in some ways, but hey, look, even in a crap month, we've done loads, when I look back.

Highlights: ice lantern; leap pad; being read to by my lovely daughter.
Lowlights: coughing and, er, clenching; no money; sleeping badly with cough or not enough with work.
Thoughts on Xmas and decs and stuff: BRING IT ON, YEAH BABY!

Catching up

Catch-up on:

Bonfire Weekend
Physio
J's Birthday
Socializing (MonsterTeeny; Grandma Janice and Music & Movement; Grandpa Clive; Katya, Ria and Belle; Glo, Shula, J and J)

Bonfire weekend:
Our house guests arrived on Friday 4th for the weekend - they are some of the most relaxing house guests we ever have - I would willingly have them more often, but at least we have a regular once-a-year date for bonfire weekend. I had already relaxed enough before they arrived to decide not to hoover, and it was all relaxation from there on. On Friday night we drank good wine, chatted, watched some comedy. On Saturday we went into town for a few items and saw the signs of the bonfire preparations - big 'No POPERY' banner across street, people in various coloured stripy jumpers to show their allegiance to different bonfire societies, etc. A general air of things afoot. In the early evening we all went up to the 'children's' procession, so-called despite involving flaming tar barrels and very loud bangs, fiery torches being dropped in street inches from small people's noses etc. They get it right though, there were apparently only 4 casualties and 8 arrests out of 70,000 or so people. 5 or 6 bonfire societies took part in 30 or so processions and then dispersed with crowds following to their various bonfire sites to throw fireworks at people dressed as bishops for a bit before lighting vast bonfires and giving themselves up to pyrotechnical excess that shook the house. By that stage F and I were back home, watching a bit through the windows. She did really well at the procession this year though, seemed to really enjoy it. Our economy drive suffered at the hands of those selling coloured flashing LED doodads though - irresistible I'm afraid. J and house guests found several good spots for watching fireworks including one where something landed very close to them, so they returned with lively tales to tell.

Physio:
I had had a few worries about F's balance and patterning in the 2 or 3 weeks preceding F's physio review appt. but then in the last week F had been showing signs of getting over whatever it was (suspect a combination of a bad fall, too small shoes, vaccinations, bad sleep, 2 growth spurts in quick succession - Faith the physio confirmed that growth spurts are likely culprit). And sure enough, Faith said she still has good range in her ankle and shoulder and various other areas. She did lots of balancing and holding things in her difficult hand, reaching beyond her comfort zone, etc. At the moment it seems like she's capable of doing pretty much everything she should be able to, but does avoid some things, so it would be helpful to encourage more of the difficult things, to keep the function and range developing well. It was a very reassuring visit.

J's birthday:
Lots of presents were purchased with one click, some on behalf of the grandmas, and all arrived in good time. F helped with the wrapping which mainly involved her jumping on the bed, perhaps to filter out anything heavy or breakable. Fortunately the more vulnerable items were packaged in 'manly' durable plastic carrying cases - you know the kind of plastic that is really trying to look like stone, for that extra masculine feel. He also got books and CDs and DVDs. Nice prezzies actually. J always takes time off for birthdays and so we have been having a cosy time, not getting up till 10 or so on many days, taking it easy together, relaxing with family films and reading and cuddles. Bliss! On his actual birthday we had a Chinese takeaway from the new local place and watched Robots all together (economy drive schmeconomy drive, I'm afraid). It was lovely. I love family snuggly times like that.

Socializin'

MonsterTeeny:
MonsterTeeny visited us and took advantage of our excellent 'all about hazardous items' autonomous learning resources - a dried chilli full of seeds found somewhere in the conservatory, bubble soap and various batteries and lighters (next time I really must prepare better and put the bleach and slug pellets out somewhere nice and low too, maybe with some alcohol) - it's a free course, if anyone else fancies partaking at any time. Anyway, seriously, sorry D, you were very brave! Still not sure where they found the chilli, maybe climbing was involved, bless 'em.
F had also filled her outrageous purple bead drawer thing (very girly, opens out like a flower with curvy heart shaped purple drawers all round) with milk! Ms MonsterTeeny helped me with the damage limitation and of course we managed to chat extensively and satisfactorily between various small people requirements.

Grandma Janice came on Tuesday and F and she planted a bulb in the garden as well as various other activities - F did have a strop or two but not too bad. I was working to a tight deadline. The new arrangement of Grandma Janice coming every 2 weeks on Tuesday is good as she gets to accompany us to Music and Movement, and we get to walk her to the corner near the station, and I feel less like I haven't seen her at all when she goes. It does mean I have to be disciplined if I have a deadline, in order to finish it in time to leave for M&M, but that's all to the good. F really enjoys M&M, and this week for the first time did the expected response in the little musical exercise they do at the start introducing themselves.

Grandpa Clive (J's dad) came and birthday items were given - his birthday is just before J's and he was 60. J's presents from him had arrived earlier too, also purchased online - grandpa's first time on Amazon, he used J's wish-list.

Katya, Ria and Belle came round - Katya and I agreed that even though it's nice to see 'the others' - a couple of other local mum's and their 4 kids - we need to make sure we always have our own separate socials too. She's a funny, warm friend and her kids are great characters. I really hope this friendship continues through the diverging paths we will be taking - her children are at nursery and will go to school, she has work away from home, while we are pretty firmly on the HE track and I will probably always work at home now.

Glo and Shula came over a few days ago with J and J, their two, who are settling in with them well now, I think. Again, I don't want to blog them too much at this stage - privacy is needed I think. It was lovely to see them though.

Apart from all the above, F has mainly been playing her own imaginative games, watching Cinderella and The Backyardigans a lot, had a few good trips to park (! P.A.R.K), she's been climbing and balancing like mad, I guess partly to readjust after these growth spurts, glittering, leappadding and CBeebiesing. All the usual. We have quite a lot of conversations about sounds and letters and words these days, she likes playing 'what part of your body rhymes with...' and that kind of thing - I showed her the words 'bat', 'rat' and 'cat' written down and with a bit of steering she soon noticed that they all had the same ending and connected that with them sounding the same. She still does that much-documented thing that many other blogring 4 and 5-yr olds do which is quite funny - on the rare occasion that I point at the word 'cat' and sound out the letters 'c' 'a' 't' to her, first slowly and then getting quicker a few times. Beaming at me and visibly giving the matter her full attention, she says, in triumphant tones: 'dog'! Now, why does that happen? It's almost as if saying 'cat' is too easy, she thinks it must be harder than it is or something. She doesn't have the expression of deliberate joking, or I would think it was that. Have read on blogring and elsewhere of many other children doing this at this age. It is funny, and intriguing.

And the ghost and all the people lived happily ever after

I'm not doing my HE and Life sections today, mainly because we all know it's silly and that Life is HE, etc. and although it's sometimes useful to stick things in the HE section, today it's not and I'm not doing it and that's that, so there.

So...
Stuff:
Yesterday - Grandma Julia came over, partly to pick up the Advent box that she did last year (to be refilled with small prezzies soon). And stayed to watch Cinderella with her granddaughter, which is something she had looked forward to I think, so that was nice for them both. Pantomime plans are also afoot.
Last night - F slept so badly, terrible night, she woke me up about 5 times, twice with painful foot (never know if it is cramp, pins and needles, growing pains, or some other horror) and the other times because she was having loud discussions with Dozy Mog about all sorts of things and fiddling with the array of toys she has arranged in extremely precise layout on her bed, most of which make it very uncomfortable and noisy when she moves. Ah, bless...
So she and I woke up late, poor J had already had to go off to work at some ungodly pre-9am hour that I don't often see, despite also having had a terrible night.
Today - One of those days when I see F really full of ideas and excitement and thoughts and new things, not just 'educational' stuff, but one of those days when she pushes her physical boundaries too, tries her balance out in all sorts of strange positions, throws herself around, etc. So maybe foot pain was associated with this. She has been using toy cars as roller skates, climbing up the banisters and hanging sideways, jumping on sofa.
Other things she did today:
All by herself, she got glue and glitter (and yes they are stored out of reach, so she pushed some physical boundaries just to do that) and paper and pens and created a 'rainy day texture picture' for me! It's got black clouds round all the edges, blue dots for rain and blue glitter in the middle for a puddle. I loved that she did it entirely by herself on her own initiative. I have to admit I also love that she made hardly any mess! (I know, I know, mess has to be made, but you have to admit it takes the shine off something when you think 'oh now I've got to get the hoover out...').
She played on CBeebies and Cat in the Hat on the puter.
We went to a spooky storytelling event at the castle up the road - back in April we went to a storytelling event there too, and I blogged how when the lady asked who could tell a story, F volunteered and then just kind of didn't make sense. Well, guess what, today the same lady asked the group of about 20 children who could tell a spooky story or joke, and apart from her own daughter and a boy who told a joke, F was the only one, and one of the youngest in the room, who stood up and volunteered to tell a story. And she did. She made up a ghost story, apparently on the spot, she delivered it clearly, coherently and confidently in about 8 sentences, gave it a 'Once upon a time...' beginning and a 'happily ever after' end, made sense (*cough* remembering Saturday at Nic's party) and sat down afterwards to mass applause! I felt so proud! It was lovely. Shame she had to spend some of the rest of the time trying to investigate a very dangerous 10 foot drop and some candles, but there we go.
Before leaving we made more social arrangements for later in the week with Katya, who was also there, having got the tickets for us.
Back here, F did more balancing on precarious items, ate some toast and enjoyed the trick or treaters. I particularly liked the ones in the blood cascading Scream masks, especially when they let me squeeze the thing that made the blood cascade. And although we had about a dozen, I still have sweets nicely wrapped up in silver foil for MonsterTeeny visiting tomorrow, hoorah!
Work - have some, have plans to get more in long run. Did invoices.
Seeing people every day except Wednesday this week. At the end of the week, we have house guests coming for the infamous local bonfire night hoo-ha. Much rolling of flaming oil barrels in street, denouncing of papists, etc. Just the thing for the littlies, and indeed anyone who enjoys both active and passive pyromaniacal recreations. And this year, not only is it on a Saturday, but it's the 400th anniversary, so the sonic boom should shake the house even more than last year.

Highlights: F's texture picture, F's storytelling, friends, social stuff, J.
Lowlights: too much waking up in night, invoices of doom, one word in a Russian handwritten document that I'm becoming obsessed with not being able to decipher, dammit.
Quote: When I'm on these roller skates, properly, mummy, I will give you a ride to the sofa.

Spookin' it up

HE:
A bit more Splashy Quacky or Quacky Splashy (some doubt remains concerning his exact title) and some Study Dog, some conversations about food products and origins, some considerations of basic logic, some casual maths, various other conversations covering vaguely sciencey areas, morsels of history, etc.

Life:
Well, today we went to The MonsterTeeny Hallowe'eny! And a great time was had - I was watching the kids a lot of the time and I think they will all remember today's party as a really great day for them. It was a good mix of organized games/activities and then plenty of other times of running around in and out, dancing etc. And they all got the chance to throw popcorn all over the place, which I think was a very enjoyable experience that most of them don't often have. I particularly enjoyed watching the Musical Statues and Apple Bobbing. F particularly enjoyed Pass the Parcel, Popcorn throwing, running around, and the general party business. Thank you very much to everyone who contributed to making it happen, but especially thanks to Nic - you should feel very proud of yourself, I know you worked really hard and put so much time, effort and energy into the party, creating something for other people to enjoy, and it was great.
It was great to meet many other bloggers there too, although I'm not sure I managed very much actual conversation. Nice to put faces (and silly costumes) to names though. Still don't know exactly whose kids were whose, apart from a few. One of Ros's children (but shamingly I don't know which one) was such a star in keeping me going when I was reading the Spooky Story, which was a bit too long and rather confusing for the children, due to being put together from separately written bits and therefore not making sense. Ros's daughter maintained eye contact, showed interest and even laughed in the right places all the way through to the end, when my throat was drying out completely and half my 'audience' had given up completely, poor sods! Every time I felt my confidence slipping I took a breath and aimed the story right at her! Although the story made no sense, it was still fun to read it to them and get them all doing the sound effects, they were a lovely bunch of kids to do that with.
We did get a chance to chat with Dani, Allie, Pearl and Leo from the Green House by the Sea, which was great - we had a quick lunch together on our arrival, not sure how many witches, dragons and scary princesses the sandwich bar near the station serves in an average day, but they seemed quite used to it. J, F and I had rushed to get the right train from Brighton, and just made it by seconds, and found the Green House Gang on the train, met them properly when we got off, which wasn't quite what we had arranged, but was still a major feat of rushingness on our part, so glad that we managed that. Later on, F got a bit overly clingy to Pearl, who bore it with good grace, but I think found it rather hard going. Sorry Pearl! It is a compliment, honest! Forgot to tell Leo how much I like what I've seen of his comics. Hi Leo, I like your comics.
F particularly enjoyed Pass the Parcel, Popcorn throwing, running around, and the general party business.
Did manage very brief chats with Barbara (Hi there!) and Ros (thank you for the wig, we will arrange something soon to give it back to you). Ah well, there will be other times for more conversation I'm sure.

Monday - my best gay male friend came round for a cuppa and a lovely chat, which was really nice. Haven't seen him for a while and it was good to catch up, especially as he's making some changes in his life that led to interesting conversation. Our conversation was lent a surreal angle by F insisting on drawing the curtains and making the room as dark as possible for some reason. She also built a great big stack of books and objects (she was playing on CBeebies website, and needed Cinderella Barbie and her 'partner' Scoop (from Bob the Builder) to be able to see what she was doing, so erected this huge pillar of stuff for them, bit by bit) and generally made her various contributions to the ambience.
In the evening I had my writing group, bliss! I love it, and the group leader is talking of extending beyond Xmas now, so that's great. We're focusing on plot at the moment, I find it challenging.

Tuesday - Auntie HH came and really helped when we went shopping for bits to make Hallowe'en costumes. It's always better having 2 adults for shopping with 1 child, makes quite a difference. And nice for me to have someone willing to discuss my prospective purchases of plastic tat as if they really really mattered, to humour me! Thanks HH! We also bought winter boots and I realized F's feet had grown by a whole size. I knew that her feet had hurt in the last 10 days or so, but I think she could have done with new shoes a bit earlier, although at least the Doodles canvas ones must have been soft enough to give, I guess.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were fairly home-based days of just us two, which was mostly very nice. I had some work, and also some thinking about work, to do, came to a decision to make myself a bit better off in the long run, but will require a bit of determination and effort for a while first. Definitely think it's the way to go, though and so am quite excited about it. It's not a huge change in the scheme of things, more an addition than an amendment.
We watched Cinderella - F loves it at the moment.
And now I am tired and I am going to watch telly and eat chocolate, so there.

Highlights: Seeing so many children enjoying themselves today; cuddles with my girl; nice chats with her; J telling me that when I go out to my class and come back late, he really likes to cook me some nice hot food when I get in!
Lowlights: A couple of difficult tantrums when F tired; working till gone 4 one morning.
Quote: 'But spiders aren't scary, mummy' (good point, when I was sewing little rubber spiders to her top, to which I decided to cop out with 'I know they aren't, but some people think they are')

Quacky Splashy and Stuff

HE:
F continues to show interest in letters, sounds and words, for instance describing how to write a letter 'B', rhyming words, asking about sounds. She managed to copy her name the other day, albeit in a rather unorthodox formation, but I suspect I'll keep the scruffy old envelope that it's on for a long long time. We are putting together a duck book, which she has half-plotted the story for, and done one picture for. It will have a small duck figure that is pushed through slots in the book to move from page to page (like a ladybird book we read at Grandpa's and another book seen on the Tweenies). And we have a folder that all the bits are in, so there! The duck's name is apparently 'Quacky Splashy' and he starts off the story in a pond, so that was just a blue page coloured in by F. Some sticking and text stuff to do next.
Study Dog; conversations about seasons, rain, vegetables and fruits. Lots of other stuff I can't think of right now.

Life:
Cinema – Went into Brighton on Monday to see the new Wallace and Gromit film, which we all enjoyed, although it was F’s first trip to the cinema and she was a bit scared in the last half hour, which led to her clambering around a bit between her seat and ours and trying to hide behind us. Her normal way of dealing with anything on telly that she doesn't like is to turn the sound off, so I think this was a bit hard for her. Feedback afterwards was that she did enjoy the film and the cinema experience as a whole, though, and I’m really looking forward to more family films through winter. The things we had planned for the rest of the day didn’t work out, but it was still a nice day on the whole.

J and I really want to catch Serenity (I’m a huge Joss Whedon fan and we watched all of Firefly in a few binge sessions back at the end of winter). We're planning on asking one of the girls next door to sit - they are very nice, seem responsible and their mum is a lecturer in childcare. They have offered before, and this might be the opportunity.

Potty Use - General success with toilet situations further afield has been the order of the day. She is getting the hang of telling me when she needs the toilet etc and of sitting on public and other toilets, although she is not keen on ours, but then neither am I, as it has a bit of wobble.

Music and Movement – On Tuesday, F was in full 'not really listening' mode for most of it, but Mrs Music and Movement seemed not to mind too much, and F did really enjoy being a grumpy big-step giant and a nervous cockerel by turns. She also had a good go at rhythm stuff. It's a lovely small group. Came away with another social arrangement for a couple of weeks time, to see Mandy and Madeleine.

Work – I had a big contract dangled in front of my nose, but it didn’t actually happen, so I’m adjusting to that, as it was rather chunky and tempting. On Wednesday, my mum came and was a real help, so that I could finish a job on time and have a bath as well – lovely, thanks Mum! F had a lovely time, though again was in a bit of a difficult mood, in terms of being rather changeable and stroppy about things now and then (in fact, as I write, I’m realizing she’s been a bit like that all week – hmmm). I have had a few very late nights this week, up till 3 about 3 times. But this weekend I have hardly anything I have to do - bliss.

Socializin’ – On Thursday we popped up to Katya’s where a couple of other mums and a total of 7 children were playing in various guises. I gave Katya some pictures of the birthday party last Saturday, and we came away with yet more social arrangements. It was interesting to compare notes briefly with someone there on experience of our children having physiotherapy and other aspects of the whole diagnosis/treatment procedure.

On Friday, MonsterTeeny visited us, arriving at such a respectable time that I was able not only to hoover but also to google (hallowe’en stuff) before they arrived. Again Ms MonsterTeeny and I were both tired due to similar circumstances as the time before, but I think we had some good chat. I felt very relaxed anyway. F was not at her best, maybe she’s coming down with something, I don’t know. What I do know is that suggesting the P.A.R.K. turned out to be a really bad idea, and led me eventually to use many words that also have to be spelt rather than said, after the children had steadfastly refused to have uncomplicated outdoor fun for a bit. And the sweet shop was closed! Grrrr. If ever I suggest the P.A.R.K to Ms MonsterTeeny again, she has my permission to spell anything she likes back at me.

Today we have sorted out half of our conservatory, got intimidated by the other half, retreated and closed the doors. Managed to fit our patio table in though - Result. Enjoyed looking through old photos in the big unsorted box.
Right, that's it for now.

Highlights: tidy half of conservatory; lie-in; enough work.
Lowlights: untidy half of conservatory; P.A.R.K; not enough sleep.
Quote: On telly, they have animals doing people things like talking and going on buses... It's just stupid.

Par-tay!

HE:
I've finally got started on the People Alphabet (well, it did require the purchase of stapler and staples, a serious commitment!). The basic structure is finished, now to make cards for everyone we want to include on it, with names and photos, then sticky velcro squares in appropriate places and there you gope, which is how we say 'there you go' round here these days.
More looking at sounds/letters, including lots of LeapPad including a phonics one about olives (bizarre). Conversations about plurals, regular and irregular, dinosaurs, gravity, body systems again.
Some great drawing - she constructed something in the garden which she called Woodlouse Cottage (but I think she mixes up cottage with village, looking at the context of a couple of recent usages), then did her own map of it, a really good one, showing the river, bridge, desert, cafe and beach, all in the right places and with logical colours. I wrote the labels she asked for on all the features and we laminated it. And she did a drawing of her, me, J and Dozy Mog, a family picture, which I also laminated as it's her first ever really representational family picture, so we were a bit thrilled.
Two sevens, two weeks, seven days being a week, etc.


Life:
Went to the Doctor's, where F had 2 injections. She cried briefly and was given Smarties by the nurse. I saw the doctor and changed contraception to one I think I'm going to prefer. And also got serious steroid and antibiotic combination cream for my shredded feet. They're already improving too, which is making a difference to how I feel generally.
F is getting better and better at using potty, and has even had a go on the big toilet a couple of times. Getting more confident with it all the time.
We went to a birthday party today, where the children could be pirates or princesses and were given accessories accordingly. F joined in really well with the various activities and generally displayed social skills that she didn't have at the beginning of this year - this has really been the year of her social development coming on fast. She was completely at ease at this party, despite hardly knowing anyone there, and now has strategies that she uses successfully to initiate and propose activities to other children, mainly borrowed wholesale from D of MonsterTeeny, such as: 'come on you guys, let's...' and 'would you like to come and explore the... with me?', all of which seem to work beautifully with her peers. It's lovely to see. This time last year, and up to Jan/Feb, she wouldn't have had the confidence or the experience to do that.
The party was absolutely lovely, one of those blessed days, the weather perfect, so it was a garden affair, rugs, cushions, happy children, happy parents, wine, bliss. My friend had gone to considerable efforts to make it special, and it really was.
Might make it to cinema on Monday, we have half a plan, I think.

Highlights: party today; healing feet; F's continued and improving potty use.
Lowlights: injections and tears; not enough hours in the day.

Catch-up

HE:
Conversations about: gravity; dinosaurs in some detail; sounds and letters in words; the body, including what blood does and other systems.
LeapPad mania is upon us and she does quite a bit of it every day at the moment. We got a dinosaur leap book with interactive cards - Wow! I wish I had had one. Her favourite is still Disney Princesses of course.
Life:
Trip to my dad's was good, wish we could see more of them, but it's a long old haul. We went out to see birds, deer and fish of various sorts. F thoroughly enjoyed herself, especially her grandpa reading stories to her (always a bit bittersweet to watch as he is lovely with her and I didn't meet him till I was 16) and her uncle building fab lego things. I got a chance to play a proper game of Scrabble, so I was happy. Ooh and a game called Lingo, which was really good.
Potty use continues with great aplomb and confidence. Am getting used to it now.
Adopting friends now have the two children living with them, they came over for a visit and it was absolutely lovely. Period of transition and adjustment ahead for all of them, but it's easy to see the potential and the basics are there for them all to be happy. Not going to blog them in detail as I think they should have maximum privacy right now.
Socializing quite a bit recently with other children generally, all going very nicely thank you.
Public apology to Ms Portico - F tipped your lovely bead patterns all over the floor at MonsterTeeny world, at least I assume they were lovely, as I didn't see them or else I would have warned her off. Sorry! In her defence it was an accident as she 'didn't expect the picture to do that', and hasn't encountered such items before.
Occupational Therapy appt - was good, we now need to get F doing reach over midline with right hand, and also will be massaging her right hand. Yoga/ballet/swimming are all suggested as 'good things', so will give some consideration to what I can fit in where.
Have also had cause to ponder on nature of blogging, internet relationships and all that.
Online life is strange - I have made very good friends who have become important in my life. Sadly, 2 of these seemingly normal people, despite appearing to be warm human beings, have in fact turned out to be Tories. Tsk, what can you do? I am continuing my friendship with them and hope that my good influence will rub off on the poor souls, and in the meantime that this has cheered up at least one of them that might need it (let's face it, Tories need cheering up at the moment anyway).
Keeping it brief to catch up, will keep up a bit better now, promise. I got a bit detached from blogland as there were a lot of blogs I didn't have access to now. They're all back now, thanks to Jax, so I'm back too.

Elimination and Lamination

HE:
Quite a bit of arty stuff: finger-painting, foam stick-ons, getting me to draw the actual pictures for her own detailed designs, colour-mixing, collage and graphics software use! And some of these items have been laminated too. We started planning our People Alphabet, and I think I know how we're going to put it together.
She has also been making up good stories. We read a story about an elephant who found out that mice were nothing to be scared of, despite what his mum had told him, and she created her own analogous version, about a cat that was scared of water but found out he could walk on water, and then told all the other cats. The elephant story also generated some good discussion of elephants, size, trunks, tusks, fears.
She helped me to make vegetarian jelly (colour mixing and measuring liquids and time), but sadly when it came to eating it she decided she really doesnt' like jelly. I thought it was in the membership rules for childhood that you had to like jelly, but apparently not.
She has done a bit more Study Dog, and general interest in sounds/letters/rhymes continues on and off.

Life:
Poo and Pee
I have now joined the ranks of those who have had to witness their child urinating in a public place, in our case the local shop, where the man was very nice about it, at least while we were there. Well I knew it was going to happen somewhere, sometime, so good to get it over with I guess. This aside, she's been doing really well with potty use, and I have quite got used to the whole new routine. Decided to go with pull-ups for certain crucial occasions (Music and Movement, in particular, and train rides) as she seems to have got the idea, and still pulls them down to use the potty. Am taking it slowly, letting her go trouserless and pantless if she likes at home, so she can really get used to it in her own time. Pretty much everything is going in the potty most days, which is great. Won't be rushing the transitions to big toilet and night-time, want to make sure she feels really confident first. Have been thrilled a few times to see her successfully manage to get her trousers down in time though, given that undressing is a bit harder for her, with difficult hand.
Music and Movement
Made 2 playdates with 2 of her fellow Musical Movers, so that's nice. She was possibly tired/hungry and didn't listen very well this week, but enjoyed it nevertheless.
The older group that F is now in gets more challenging content in terms of such concepts as rhythm matching, so we've followed through on that at home a bit, as F was quite interested in the idea of rhythms. She also put on her 'ballet skirt' and did some dancing today when my mum was here, attempting to interpret different types of music with her movements, which was extremely entertaining and lovely, to see her listening and thinking about that.
Other stuff
F isn't sleeping that well at the moment, might be the drop in temperatures, might be developmental changes, not sure, but it's definitely affecting her, she's a bit crotchety, gets wound up quicker than usual, and physically she is lurching around a lot and falling over too much, poor old sossage. Will see how this pans out over the next couple of weeks, hopefully she will come through it.
My mum came today and F had a lovely time with her, barring a big wobbly or two. Mum brought the Formative Fun catalogue, for thinking ahead to Christmas, so looking forward to going through it properly at some point.
September hasn't been that great for work, could still do with a couple of decent-sized jobs I reckon for the end of the month.
Going to my dad's at the end of the month, haven't seen him for over a year I think, so it will be nice. Will also stop off on the way to see Twinks *waves to Twinks*, otherwise known as one of the internet nutters or 'mummy's friends in the puter'.

Highlights: Weekend with no work, lots of sleep and Rioja, Saturday family bed snuggles; my dancing girl; social whirl; laminating things; poo in the right place!
Lowlights: Local shop puddle; F not listening at Music and Movement; tantrums; disappearing funds.
Quote: "I don't want you not to not do it, I want you to do it!" (shouted at scream volume)

How terribly civilized

HE:
Dinosaurs
- She chose a dinosaur book - first time she has chosen a factual book, in fact only the second time she has really picked out a book in a bookshop with such determination. I was in another part of the shop and she came and got me and said she wanted this book. It's a short book about different types of dinosaurs, with flaps and the names of the dinosaurs spelt out in 2 different ways - one to help you say them correctly. So on Wednesday we read it in the morning she initiated a conversation about all the different kinds of protection/armour dinosaurs had - horns, various spikes in different places, neck frills, club tails, sharp teeth. We had a really enjoyable hour with this book, conjuring up different scenarios of dinosaurs protecting themselves from other dinosaurs and talking about what they ate, how big they were both in terms of modern things like buses etc. and in relation to each other. Then at the end of the afternoon, we made a kind of amalgamosaurus together out of clay, which was basically a collection of bits of dinosaurs we had seen in the book and liked. Sadly most of it hasn't survived. Next time we do clay I'll have to put it up somewhere out of reach to dry! All in all this was a great combination of activities that we both enjoyed - a book that gave rise to good conversations, followed through with a craft activity and more conversation later. Will definitely look for other similar opportunities.
Poo and Pee
- Our main 'educational' activity of the week has been learning to use the potty. F is 4, but I haven't been convinced that either of us was ready for this (for instance, in terms of effect of the stroke that she had as a newborn, effect on bladder control, difficulty in undressing, etc.). This week has been great though, think we're well on our way. A couple of months ago when we tried, I couldn't really see how it could be done, as she was peeing every 20 minutes or so in a different part of the house and by the time I'd cleaned one up there was another one, often right on top of a collection of miscellaneous small items that were difficult to clean. However, this time, I was prepared for that, and it hasn't been like that at all. Almost all the poo and pee is going in the potty and she's only going every hour or two. How terribly civilized. I have to not watch the procession of the full potty to the toilet, as F insists on carrying it up the stairs and it's a wobbly ascent to say the least. But she hasn't spilt any yet, so it's better for me not to watch the near-misses and be saying 'careful' every 2 seconds!
Other HE - conversations about trees, more interest in sounds/letters/words, more casual maths.
Resources - I have bought a laminator and some printer ink at last. Watch this space!
Life:
Grandma Ju
- came on Sunday for a few hours. She brought a paint-your-own piggy bank, which F and she then painted - bright pink with gold glitter and frankly scary eyes, but F is very pleased with it, and it was a good idea of Grandma Ju's, nice of her to bring something to do with F like that. So now F is looking out for coins here and there and sticking them in her piggy bank! Much talk with Grandma Ju about pensions/investments etc. She is coming up to retirement and pondering her options.
Hurty feet
- my feet hurt - eczema, cracks, splits, bleeding, nasty horrible things. *waves to Lynne* - my friend Lynne has sent me some excellent protective moisturising stuff in vast quantities, so hopefully they will be getting better soon.
Tree Removal
- The landlord (nearly gave him a capital letter!) came over on Monday (at short notice, so I sprayed pong removing stuff around recklessly and hoped for the best!). It was time to remove the tree from our front garden. It's a beautiful tree in Spring, but its roots are wrecking the foundations and path, and its branches are flirting with the power lines and nothing grows very well in the front because of it. So he came and brought loppers and a chainsaw and his wife and her mother turned up after a while and we all spent much of the day disposing of large pieces of tree. They're fairly enthusiastic about Home Ed, and had a few good chats with F about tree age rings and how chainsaws work and such stuff. He came back on Tuesday to finish off, and some plants that I had ordered arrived on Wednesday, so can go in to nicely dug root-free soil today.
Katya, Ria and Belle
- came over on Monday too, fairly late on in the tree removal process. Had much conversation with Katya about her teaching job - just started, not qualified, fairly scary. She was talking through why she's doing it, and why she thinks she's doing it and why she's really doing it - it's very complicated, but I think we got somewhere with it, and she's sticking with it for now. She gave me her tips for our potty mission too. It was one of our more serious chats, but lovely to see them all.
Friends adopting
- Exciting e-mail on Monday from Glo and Shula telling us how their first meeting with the children had gone. It went really well, a very positive start, the children seemed very happy with what was happening so far, and had liked reading the family book and seeing the video of 'mummy Glo' and 'mummy Shula'. Am looking forward to hearing from them again when they get the chance. They will be spending increasing amounts of time with the children, in their foster home, with the foster family, over the next 2 weeks. And then, unless things have gone really badly, they all come home and start being a family!
Music and Movement
- Someone I used to see at a mother and toddler group in Brighton turned up in our group on Tuesday! She moved away to Manchester when F and her daughter were about 2, but now they're back. So will be seeing more of her hopefully. And her daughter is also friends with Madeleine, who we also see there.

Kept the rest of the week quiet to focus on poo and pee and getting them where we want them. Which has so far worked really well. Also had plenty of work, now finished for moment.
Tonight - Rioja and curry and relaxation.

Highlights: Poo in the potty; Amalgamosaurus; well-dug front garden
Lowlights: Tiredness, bad nights; feet of horror; spending money too quickly (see HE Resources!)
Quote: 'Mummy - look - it's the man with the stump!' (landlord carrying tree stump, so OK, phew)

Soooooocial

HE:
Interest in sounds/letters/words is on the upturn again. I fully intend to buy a laminator and use it before the month is out, as I actually have funds this month and by now many many ideas for its use. People alphabet, for instance, and a calendar.
A bit of rhyming and sound-alike play too.
Track building, playground designing - including problem-solving.
Jigsaw puzzles and imaginative play.

Life:
We returned to Music and Movement - F seemed to really take to the new older level class, I think, even though she is one of the youngest ones there. They're a nice group, on first look, and friends we had started to see back in Spring/Summer were there, so we've already got a new social arrangement to add in to our calendar. It was weird to realize that some of the children there would be starting school, on a part-time basis at least, any day now. The session is right at the end of the day, so even I can get to it on time, and do some shopping beforehand.
That was Tuesday afternoon.

Wednesday, my mum came and looked after F while I worked, then shopped, then cleared the kitchen. F had a lovely time, as always with her grandma, including some dam-building in the sandpit which looked fun. My shopping was not so successful but it was great to be able to do it without a small bored person.

Thursday: Nic, Davies and Scarlett came over. I was completely unprepared in terms of anything of the houseworky type, but Nic convinced me that didn't matter, so I was fully able to enjoy a good chat, while the children played around us - her turn this week for the zooming-in zombie-approach experience of being surrounded and engulfed by all three at once, and yes, it was even funnier to watch than it is to be in, so I was highly entertained. Some very entertaining conversations we had too, delving into our pasts and our non-parenting lives, such as we can claim them to be! Among other things, we talked about relationships in general and specific ones we had been in/out of or close to. Also talked about HE (no, really, we do sometimes!) and becoming official, in age-of-child terms. And now Nic and her family will be on holiday for a while, so *big welcome back wave* to you when you get back, hope you all had a lovely time. Still can't get to your blog and quite a few others, so will probably have to put aside a week to catch up when they reappear, given your prolific rate of column inch production!
The children made a proper, old-fashioned mess outside on the patio, as all beautiful anarchists will, given time and mud. Not sure which of them decided throwing mud at the house/windows was a good idea (probably F), but might have to veto that particular variant. Laughed at myself, for having set them up a big box of water, sparkling in the sun, for them to 'discover' with beautiful shiny things to play with, 'like treasure' I fondly suggested to Nic - 10 minutes later - of course a black swamp with not a sparkle in sight. That showed me! And they all got beautifully dirty too. Play was very happy on the whole, with only a couple of minor 'moments' I think. F loves their visits, she is delighted whenever I tell her they're coming. Nic and I continue to discover things we have in common, and things we don't! Makes for good conversation.

Friday: Mandy from over the road came across for a cuppa, with her twins Thomas and Suzanne - more nattering for me. F was very good with the twins, who are just gone 18 months, walking, clambering and starting to talk. F did well at bringing them things and communicating with them. They shared several good giggles. Mandy and I talked about how little housework we do, which was immensely enjoyable, though I think her excuses are at least twice as good as mine. She's good, relaxing company and I really must see more of her, especially if F enjoys the twins' company as much as she did today, entertaining them, etc.

Today: My turn for a lie-in, then we went to the new library, which was really good - much bigger and better than previous incarnation, got lots of books for F, and a couple of DVDs, including another Thornberrys one that we haven't seen before. For me I got a parenting book on potty training (Oh Joy of Literature!) as that is my priority for the latter half of next week. After the library we went for a pizza, which was lovely, then came back here and watched a Dr Who with our special duvet of protection on the sofa. F fell asleep soon after and I had a nice bubbly bath and a read. Lovely, thanks!

Highlights: bubble baths, having funds, pizza out, new local things, friends.
Lowlights: the morning I happily embarked on a jigsaw puzzle with F and we fell out big time over it about 10 mins after starting - grim!
Quote: 'Why have you stopped?' 'Because I was moving'.

Sunny Ceilings Funny Feelings

HE:
More casual maths that she just chucks into the daily mix. Conversations about many kinds of sea-creatures (she got up after half an hour of being in bed last night and stayed up watching the big visually stunning sea documentary (Deep Blue), snuggled between me and J and eating rice from my plate). Calendar, days, times, seasons - discussed. Talked about prisms and light a bit. She helped with cooking a bit recently too. Will be re-establishing our 2-weekly pattern of activities/visits again over the next month - it disappeared over summer. Music and Movement starts again today, with F in the 4-5 yr age group now. See how that goes.

Life:
We all went to the local raft race. Jack came too and we met Glo and Shula down there. The raft race was very entertaining, much egg-throwing, flour-bomb and water-bomb chucking, water-spraying and clowning around, and it was a beautiful day for it. Some innovative and impractical raft designs too. Much speculation on whether they would actually make it past the first bend in the river and indeed whether they were even intended to. Then Jack came with us to have a leisurely pizza. Glo and Shula are now just over a week away from meeting the 2 siblings that they hope to adopt and are quite stressed over putting together their family book and video. They are nervous about whether the children will like/accept them and how hard that is going to be. Things will be better after they actually start the process, meet the children and spend time with them I think. Really felt for them, it's such a strange time for them.
F was very well-behaved throughout, really '4-yr old' - the pizza place provided a little activity pack and she worked her way through it with occasional assistance, and ate pizza and ice-cream. It was a lovely day actually, and for me, after all the plans that had to be cancelled all summer due to illness and other factors, it was so nice to have planned this and then have it happen as planned. Also we discovered the local nature reserve by the river, which will be another option for future walks and such. I imagine there are events there too, some potential educational involvement.

And yes, the other day, I had a whole conversation with my lisping child about sunny ceilings (she was lying at the top of the stairs looking up at the patterns of sun coming through the window at the time) and then found out at the end that I had been talking about sunny ceilings and she had been talking about funny feelings. I thought her questions were a bit quirky.

F.A.B Virgil

HE:
F wants to make a people alphabet - she said she doesn't know all the letters of the alphabet and wants us to make a people alphabet so she can look at it and see the letters and the people.
Sounds good to me. A project for the week ahead or longer - it may be something we add to over time I guess. But it does make me itch to get a laminator.

F quite interested in baddies and goodies at the moment (anyone else caught those 11am showings of Thunderbirds on BBC2 at the moment? - just right for a cuppa and a snuggle on the sofa, and another opportunity for those considerations along the lines of the 'which Wiggle would you go out with if you had to...' discussion on Nic's blog a while back - for the record, Virgil would be my Tracy brother of choice, easily, although I do enjoy Alan's lively fashion sense). F has also been interested in people being married/living together and families.

What else has F been up to? Deathtrap construction and lots of imaginative play really. Oh and tons of LeapPad - gone off it the last couple of days but spent 4 days doing it at every opportunity, doing well at the games too. We have Finding Nemo, Disney Princesses and Thomas books.
Don't know if I mentioned that we now have a Barbie, a full-time residential one, whereas last year one came and visited for a while. My fault for giving F free choice in the toy shop in a fit of indulgence. Don't think it's going to be too bad...
Also bead threading is occurring occasionally, as recommended by paediatrician and occupational therapist.

Life:
Our neighbour must now think we're LI-obsessed as she invited F over to play for half an hour with her granddaughter, but then had to bring her back early, after only 10 minutes and, er, nearly caught us.

Went to a barbeque in Brighton last Sunday, lots of children there, F alternated between popping off with them and hanging out with us and some of her other favourite adults. She didn't seem shy with the kids, I think she did well with them - most of the little girls were a year older than her and see each other a lot and were all dressed in their princess-fairy outfits, but F seemed happy enough with the event, flitting back and forth.

Then Monday we went on a nice medium walk, which was lovely and again reminded me how nice it is to live here, with the bridle path at the back and the hills.
Sent off my August invoices on Wednesday - another very good month, another step out of debt. Cool. Had some Russian work for first time in ages on Thursday, have had French only for last couple of months or more. So that was good but challenging.

On Thursday Nic Davies and Scarlett came over and we had a really good day - after initial flurry, the children mainly played brilliantly together in various permutations. There is always one point whenever they visit when all 3 children suddenly seem to zoom in on me like sharks sensing blood or zombies from that zombie film I can't remember the name of, usually when Nic and I are attempting a particularly interesting conversation. They sense the danger of adult brain activation and in they come, all with different queries to repeat at increasing volume and objects to wave in my face as they clamber on me from different directions. I tend to surrender laughing and attempting to signal to Nic that she should escape while she can - 'it's too late for me, Carruthers, but you can still make it', etc. As usual when Nic visits, I scored a nice chunky next job. Never fails. Nic and I did manage to talk quite a lot, covering such diverse subjects as 'quality time' of various sorts, how work can and can't be fitted in to our lives and HE plans and what our ultimate aims are in HE and in general parenting terms. Scarlett harassed me charmingly with a slug and Davies ran F's turtle hot-water bottle cover through its life cycle rather beautifully.

HH, my cousin's wife, came over on Wednesday - nice to catch up and nice for F to start to put a picture of wider family together, and of course to boss HH about mercilessly - HH very kindly took it in good part, and luckily once she had the password was able to escape her 'prisoner' status eventually. Have to give HH a blogonym, let's call her Helena. Helena and I managed some chatting, interesting to hear about the difficult aspects of her job in a dispensing chemists, dealing with addicts, etc.

Today I have done 4 hours gardening clearing the front garden again - I love gardening so much I do it twice a year without fail. Actually I do love gardening in the front garden when I'm feeling sociable - no less than 8 conversations with neighbours and passers-by in the 4 hours.

Highlights: Social life; August invoices!
Lowlights: OMG I can't think of any!
Quote: "Rosemary smells pretty I'm going to sprinkle it on the earth." - my garden helper.

Note to self for next week:
Monday............Katya Ria Belle
Tuesday...........Music and Movement starts again
Wednesday.....Grandma J
Thursday..........Nic Davies Scarlett
Friday...............Michelle and the twins

Long Weekend

HE:

More interest in words/sounds/letters.

Whilst making a birthday card for her grandma, F came and asked me what four fours were, because she had 4 sections of card and wanted to put 4 star stickers in each section. This was very much reminiscent of my own early maths interest as related slightly too often by my mum (lego bases, rows, columns, multiplication, etc.) and made me smile.

She does do quite a lot of voluntary casual maths in her daily wanderings - she will pass by me with a flower or a cracker or whatever, and tell me she's got it for one of her toys and then she'll tell me she needs 4 more flowers for 4 other toys, etc. And then each time she gets another one, she keeps me informed on how many are left to get. J and I both have reasonably balanced maths/science/arts/english educational histories, so on a good day, that's all in our daily mix, and just come into the conversation and activity because we're interested in all those areas. And on a bad day, of course, it's all shouting, swearing and bad telly (*please insert winky smiley here, kind reader, to reassure yourself that I'm probably being ironic*).

Also recently had a good talk about flint and other stones that led on to talk about weather - when F noticed a lightning-like pattern in some stone, while we were walking back from the park, and compared it with similar pattern in a flint that we had picked up that was quite spearhead-shaped. Other things that came up in conversation: dinosaurs, moles, kites, seeds, plants.

Life: Was ill. Finally got better - feels like there have been a total of about 5 days this summer when I could breathe through my nose, I am so sick of it (first hayfever, then cold/virus thing). Sick of being ill and sick of telling everyone how sick I am of being ill and sick of how sick everyone is of me telling them I've been ill. End of. (little BB6 reference there for anyone who managed to sustain any interest in it)

Sometimes I can still work when I'm ill, but this time - No! I made 3 attempts to start the big job I had, but each time my head was so woolly from illness and medication combined that I could only stare forlornly each time at the array of blurry foreign words in front of me and think 'this might as well be some bloody technical French instruction manual', 'oh it is', 'oh that's right I'm a translator' and then close the document and go to bed, humbled by my own folly. But I stayed up till 5am Thursday night, and met my deadline, with a nice adrenaline buzz to go with.

F has been bitten a lot by something, probably a mozzy, in her room - I dithered about it being something else, but signs are all in favour of it being insect bites (exposed areas, appear overnight, she doesn't seem ill). So now we have put some stuff on her and bought a citronella candle. Hope that will sort it.

Katya Ria and Belle came over on Thursday and F and Belle 'made a seaside'. It was nice to see them, we hadn't managed to for various reasons for about a month I think. Katya and I had a great long chat, despite interruptions every 2 minutes.

Highlights: Finishing large piece of work on time; breathing through my nose.
Lowlights: Poor F's bites; big tantrum she had Friday morning when I'd had 3 hours sleep and was trying to proofread my work!
Quote: "OF COURSE I HAVEN'T FALLEN OVER - I'M BEING A SEED!" shouted at top volume on way home from somewhere after she kept walking a few steps then collapsing on the floor. 'Of course' she was being a seed, then growing into a big plant, every few steps. *sigh* Of course.

Getting better

HE:
On our trip to my mum's, F correctly identified that fellow-passengers were speaking Spanish and recognized the numbers 1 to 5 when they were singing some kind of counting song! On one of the station platforms we saw 2 seagulls having a fairly spectacular fight close by, and talked about why - territory/food/breeding etc. At my mum's, there was a number balance scale and F was pretty good at knowing/working out which numbers and number combinations should balance. Have also noticed more sounding of letters or lettering of sounds. There has been other stuff, but I've been too ill to notice, she said in Victorian heroine swooning style.

Life:
We had a weekend at my mum's - quite restful for me and I managed to sort out her internet/e-mail at last, and even put my blog in her favourites (!) so, er, "Hi Mum!" *waves*
F enjoyed her time with her grandma, though she got a bit sugar-wired at times. Lots of different toys and items available to her, which she thoroughly enjoyed, too.

Then we came back (train travel with F is really not too difficult any more, she's past that age where it was hardest and is now quite a fun and reasonable travelling companion a lot of the time) and got ill almost immediately, although we were not too bad on the first day back, when we went over to Eastbourne to the new Occupational Therapist. New OT seemed nice enough, a bit less warm/affectionate than Physio lady, but pretty good and well able to listen to F and take time with her, so that was good. Basically her opinion was that F is doing very well and to just keep encouraging and providing activities that have to use two hands, so that she has to use her right hand - e.g. bead threading, cutting with scissors, and some that we already do quite a bit of, like lego, clay, etc. She was gratifyingly impressed by F's shape recognition, colours, numbers, verbal ability, etc. which was kind of nice. F and I enjoyed the wide range of weird texture items she had to play with too. We will be going back (wonder where I've put the appt card!).

Coming up we also have introductory meeting with Community Paediatrician (sp?) tomorrow, and also (uh-oh) a jab appt. next week. We were going to go to my dad's this weekend, but have had to cancel due to our infectiousness - dad was in hospital earlier this year, don't want to take any risks.
I had a birthday, in the middle of feeling shite, had excellent prezzies and lovely card made by J and F. Prezzies included White Stripes DVD and Coldplay CD, some books I'd wanted and a USB memory stick. All of which have already been enjoyed/used as appropriate.

Today Nic, Davies and Scarlett came over and much fun was had. Today it seemed F and Davies played well together and Scarlett may have been a bit left out, I think, in hindsight. For me, to hear F suggesting play ideas to Davies with some confidence today was great - she is really getting used to Davies and Scarlett and enjoys their visits a lot now. Well, they are, let's face it, lovely kids! I would have loved a friend like Davies at F's age, full of ideas and interest in life, able to carry an idea through into action and then vary it too. The interactions between the three of them are generally improving all the time (ooh, I sound strangely clinical there! weird).
Nic and I seemed to have quite reasonable amounts of time to chat. I was slightly distanced by Nurofen Cold and Flu but I think/hope I managed to converse fairly sensibly (or not, where appropriate).
And since recovery is slow, I'm going to end there.

Lowlights: Splitting headache this morning

Highlights: Birthday cosy time with J and F, Socializationness with Nic!