HE:
Balancing monkeys game - bit of discussion of weight, balance. More lego track, more garden ed. Some cooking stuff - made quesadillas with newly discovered vegan mozzarella, and she watched and was able to describe exactly how they were made to her Grandma, the next day, using great verbs like sprinkle and sizzle and other accurate and specific language.
Life:
I am working so hard. Please let it make a difference to my finances in the long run. It must, surely.
I now have 2 weekends coming up, not this one, but the next 2, where I am away and J will be parenting at home. Two promises made socially came up for consecutive weekends when dates were finally fixed by others involved. I haven't even begun to look forward to them yet, but I know they will both really do me good.
This is a tired blog.
Random thoughts:
Find I think quite a bit about my dad, about me as a toddler who must have missed him when he left, suddenly have found recently that the emotion is there now, after nearly 40 years, almost like regressing, raw.
Find I'm looking at our lives and those of most people we know and thinking this isn't how it's meant to be.
Find I'm increasingly attached to the garden.
Find myself crying watching Finding Nemo.
Find I love my work, even when it's too much, like now. I can do it. I do it well. It's satisfying.
Find I have other stuff I want to say but I'm too tired.
Take care blogring, take care Internet, you're very precious.
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6 comments:
ooh that's a very emotional post. tell me more on Monday if you are in a talking about it place?
have a good weekend :-)
(((Ali)))
Fathers - difficult. Mine has only contacted me once since the birth of his grandson, and I've got tired of doing all the work. Pathetic I know, and there is rather more to it than that, but enough for here.
The work will pay off.
Thanks you two.
Yes, my emotions are all over the place at the moment. At the risk of trivializing any of it, I think hormones are involved.
Hugs back to you Jax on the fathers thing. One day I'll meet you and swap father stories, I suspect they're quite different but have some shared roots and feelings. And the work really will pay off, I keep telling myself that. Trouble is it's mainly a question of getting past quite a bit of debt before getting to the point of having money to lavish on anyone including myself.
Hugs, I can so empathise on the work/money front and a little on the father front as although I had mine throughout my childhood he has never really been emotionally available.
Thanks Jenny, with finances I'm just adjusting to settling in for the long haul. Things won't get better immediately but if I keep doing what I'm doing they will get a bit better quite soon and a lot better eventually so I just have to get used to that long view.
Emotionally absent fathers are extremely problematic, I imagine, so hugs back to you for that and the work/money stuff - good luck.
Ali
Hi Heather, love your description of what former vegan cheeses did, very familiar. We vary. I'm a political vegan, so I aim not to buy non-vegan products, but occasionally do so, mainly for social reasons. I also regularly buy milk chocolate simply because I love it, but try to keep it to a minimum. J is fairly strictly vegan and a bit squeamish about the smell etc. of some non-vegan stuff. F has been brought up as a vegan but is now allowed to try anything she likes when it is available in a social context, with non-vegan friends/family etc. How about you? And what have you been doing with new melting mozzarella, have you tried pizzas yet?
Ali
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