Looking ahead

OK HE first:
Brief discussion of different musical instruments, describing them, their shapes and the types of sound they make, materials they're made from etc. Just a casual one, initiated by her, and kind of game-like I suppose.
Me attempting subtle pointing out of some of the sounds she's covered in HeadSprout in one of her books. Not too pleased with the way I did this, doesn't quite fit my view of the autonomy I'm really aiming for, but nevertheless she seemed fine with this approach briefly and I didn't labour it. She spotted an 'ee', and that was enough. I think I just wanted to help her to be aware that the sounds and letters in HeadSprout are universal things that she can look for in books and on signs etc.
A TV programme on BBC2 Friday morning, no idea what it was but will find out and watch it again, that was reading-oriented, she really liked, sat absolutely rapt and told me several times later how good it was, and remembered bits.

And now, non-HE:
J generally on so much better form since giving up tobacco - can't say he's given up nicotine as he's on patches, but he's just gone back to being the really lovely, generally gentle, more controlled dad and partner that I love and enjoy being with. Several times recently I've heard him being so much more patient with F and showing her the empathy and respect for her feelings that she needs, in order for her to start learning those same qualities herself. I'm so relieved, and glad. He has smoked on and off since Christmas, and when he's a smoker, he's really more prone to irritability and selfishness. Which makes me more prone to withdrawing and eating chocolate. Not good for any of us. So here's hoping he can follow those dwindling patches down to zero mg over the next few weeks. Don't mind how long he takes or how much money it costs. Just hope that's what happens.
Empathy: I think we are not the best people, J and I, at this. We're both good at relating to characters in books/films etc., can have a good cry about stuff, which is good. But, we're not great at expressing sympathy when the other has had a bad day, feels crap, etc. Think we need to make this a bit more visible for F's benefit. And for ours, actually. Not entirely unrelated - we have been rediscovering the A and J behind mummy and daddy a bit, and we need to do this. And yes, it did include sex, so there!!!
And this leads me on to some hopes for the future that are zhuzhing around my head a bit at the moment, so maybe I might as well blog them.
Hopes for next 5 or so years:
Number 1: To get to a point where we can buy a home rather than renting, so I no longer have to worry about someone else's walls and carpets all the time, and so that we can paint non-magnolia colours on the walls, non-white woodwork, put shelves up on the walls without asking permission, generally do home stuff, etc. etc. Hoping that the new Government initiative whereby Gordon Brown might lend us up to half of the house price might bring this about, otherwise there's really no way that I can see. We earn about 35k a year between us, but I'm not a good risk being freelance and having tax arrears and loans etc. so we've been told we'd be lucky to get £90k mortgage. That doesn't even buy a 1 bedroom flat here, but if Gordon would just lend us the same again on top, we might get as far as a 2 or even 3-bedroom house. We currently rent a 3-bed house, for £875 a month. It's an ex-council house, so if the 'buy your council house' thing had never been brought in by the Tories, we could be living in the same house for a mere £450! Ah, but no-one would be making a nice profit out of it then, so that would be awful wouldn't it?! Not bitter, honest, cos I know we'll get out of this somehow, just a bit sardonic, or laconic, or something.

However, I would also hope (number 2) to be at a point where J didn't have to work full-time, and could get back to painting/stained-glass work, at least part-time. The loss of this in his life and his grieving for it are very painful, and he basically has to suppress that pain all the time, hence smoking, depression, stuff. I would also like F to know her father as the person he really is, and we're only seeing two-thirds of him, without that element of creativity. I really think this is possible, if we actively make it a goal. I'd like us each to be working an equivalent to 3 days a week, or 3.5 at our current paid jobs. Think it could be done.

Number 3: I also want to write. Novels. And I'm gonna. And I've started. Nuff said.

Hope number 4: yes, it's that old favourite, get fit! I do have a plan for this, and it's actually quite modest and achievable, a few mins exercise every day. It can be done, and only I can do it. So I'm going to start. Motivation is that my main means of transport is a pair of feet, and they don't like carrying this weight (over 12 stone, since you wondered, nosy!) at all. I don't like having hurty feet.

Those are the basics. I am well and truly all blogged out after that.