Had a nice day yesterday. In the morning F and I pottered, she was watching Scooby Doo and I was catching up with some bills and phone calls. Then we had a very long discussion about why I might want her to go to the toilet as soon as we would arrive at soft play (we were meeting up with Frequent Friday Friends there later). She was cross because it was making her feel like I was treating her like a baby. In the end I managed to explain very calmly that last time we went she had not gone to the loo at the beginning and had then wet herself soon after. Her response was that 'that was an accident though!' as if I was accusing her of doing it deliberately. So I managed to very calmly explain my reasoning and, after a bit of huffing and puffing and pride, she did decide that going at the start might be a good preventive strategy to stop a similar accident happening again.
We have a lot of discussions and conversations at the moment that involve me explaining exactly why I think something or do something at a really meticulous level of detail. I'm getting better at it, with the practice, and it does seem to be needed and to help.

So we didn't set off till midday, which was OK as we hadn't said we would be there at a certain time, so we didn't have to rush. While we were at the bus stop, it was beautifully sunny and warm and we really relaxed on the bench. F got very interested in the traffic and the traffic lights, making up small snippets of story about where the different vehicles were going. Now and then we read out what was on the sides of lorries and vans and we noted a lot of building materials moving one way, plus a bacon, sausages and cooked meats van that was followed closely by a wine van. Had a pleasant bus ride, changed buses and got the second one after a short wait - I had copied a map off the net to ensure we got off at the right stop. Views from the hill were gorgeous.

There were 4 of the possible 6 FFF families including us - I'm really enjoying that group. F had various social dilemmas during the afternoon. At various stages two different people wanted to play with her and said so, but she didn't know how to decide and was also worried about upsetting one of them by choosing the other. She missed out on quite a bit of playing time with her attempts to talk this through with me. I gave my input and she didn't really acknowledge it, although I guess it went in and was evaluated for later use. So it was quite difficult for me, to sit with her repeating herself without seeming to listen to me or to be getting anywhere, while I knew she was missing out on playing with people and they would be going soon. I think I did fairly well, I was feeling quite relaxed and patient. I did remind her now and then that people would be leaving soon. Eventually she seemed to realize that time was ticking away and went off to play.
The funny thing was that when most people had gone and there was only M left to play with, F had a great time with her. Maybe it was the relief of not having to choose or think about it! M is about 2 years younger than her, but they just seem to hit it off whenever they play together. F really relaxes with her - perhaps she feels too much pressure of expectations with children of her own age - or it could be they work well together because, although M has a sibling, she is often out without him and he is a lot older.
Anyway they played for a while and I chatted with M's mum (also M) about all sorts, which was nice. It was quite late by the time we all set off to catch the same bus. F and M played a lot around the bus stop, which included finding a cat and pursuing it (fairly gently) along the slope behind the bus stop, F finding a stick and discovering that it had dog poo on the end (after poking me with the pooey end - thank goodness I had wipes in my rucksack!) and both of them finding a rather unsavoury hiding place that we banned them from, which was probably where the poo had come from.
On the bus they played a 'spying' game that they often play on the top deck, which unfortunately seems to involve crawling around on the horrible floor and changing seat position much too often, while we occasionally ask them to stay put. Also on the bus they played (and included us in) some kind of version of pass the parcel with a screwed-up bus ticket, singing, passing, unwrapping and rewrapping... Definitely one of those times when you think how much being with kids can remind you of being with people who are drunk, stoned or what a friend used to call 'differently mental'! Also on the bus, M's mum M found out that some of the poo had got onto her and M's coats, so the wipes came back out!
We got off in the centre of Brighton and did lots of waving them off before going to get our bus back to Lewes. F always wants to go to Woolworths, but it was a bit late and I was really pleased that she accepted my saying so very easily. She is really wanting to be treated 'like a grown-up' at the moment, and we frequently discuss how that might relate to behaving 'like a grown-up'. Dialogue on this subject is ongoing... I can see she is veering between regression, clinging to those last vestiges of baby stuff (talking baby talk, expressing toddler behaviour through Dozy Mog, etc.) and wanting to go out there and grab independence fiercely all in one go. Can imagine this will go on for a while! I have some plans that I hope will help anyway.
Saw someone from old writing group on the bus, which was nice, then we walked briskly down the hill home and found J was already in, having got home early - he has an ear infection and a painful abscess/boil thing and feels really rough, so not sure what we will be doing this weekend, apart from watching Dr Who this evening!